And we will all be changed
thoughts from Bear Lake
I stood in the exact same spot, but nothing was the same. the latitude and longitude was the same. the dot on the map hadn’t changed. But everything had changed.
In the early spring of 2022, my sweet wife did what did what she did best, she found crazy cheap flights to another cool destination. So we loaded our kiddos up for spring break trip to the Rocky Mountains. We found out why the tickets were cheap. Going from cold weather in Michigan to cold weather in Colorado Isn’t an ideal spring break trip. So while mid-westerners headed south for warm weather, we began a silly adventure with our kids. We didn’t pack the right clothes, but laughs and memories were waiting for us.
Our thin jackets wear barely a break from the wind whipping through the Rocky Mountain National Park. We gave it our best to hike a trail, I’m pretty sure we didn’t even get a mile in before the littles ones teeth were chattering so loud. This was not the peak season for the park but it was magical. It was us. We barely saw anyone else. It was like the RMNP was all ours. Every breath taking overlook was ours, every where the kids wanted to explore they could… at least for 20 minutes before their cheeks were chapped by the wind and their little fingers turned red from the cold. What a gift. These moments are precious. Moments of us. Smiles. Love. Presence.
But we will all be changed. The people in these pictures are not the same. Those children are growing up. The snow has melted. Kathryn isn’t here. I look the same, but I am not the same.
I see this picture everyday. It is on the wall going into my bedroom. It is one of my favorites. It is my people experiencing something crazy in the middle of the RMNP. It is literally just us. the parking lot is empty and we got to stand on Bear lake in its frozen glory. A magical moment frozen in time. A real place. Real. Beautiful. My people.
Little did we know, how we would all be changed. We took this picture in April of 2021. 4 years after this picture I was able to go back to this exact spot on the map. I needed to be reminded that the world is different.
How can we look the same? How can we Stand in the same places but feel so far from what was? Memories can be so vivid and yet feel like fleeting shadows and whispers. If didn’t I have the pictures would they actually be real? I needed to know it was real. I needed to be reminded this wasn’t a dream. I needed to be reminded I stood in this spot.I needed to be reminded that had a beautiful wife. I needed to reminded that this is real. I needed to be reminded that she loved me.
So with the windows down I began to weave my way to bear lake with last bits of sunlight left in the Colorado sky. The weather was warm. The park was full of people. The views were still breath taking. I was alone. I cried. I didn’t have kids in the back asking if we were there yet. It was me in the quiet of my memories. Lost in what was and what will never be again. Waves of gratitude and sadness ebbed and flowed as I made my way to the valley below.
The landscape is the same. the views look so familiar, but literally nothing is the same. There were crowds of people on walking paths, but here I was alone. The cutting wind was now warm air sitting on top of a glass like lake. The lake was warm and I didn’t dare try to walk on it. As I stood there the resounding thought in my head and my soul is that nothing ever stays the same. I may have found the exact spot that we stood and took a photo, but those water molecules have moved and given way for new water molecules. It is the process. I know this is silly, but I could have stood broken and rage against the process of life and change, but this is only a fools errand, because the ice that covered this lake became fresh water as the seasons changed. That fresh water evaporated and became clouds which would grow and yield the next seasons of snow and those snowpacks would melt and would become the rivers that would fill the lakes and streams. It’s where I stand now. I stand on what was, knowing that I'll continue to be changed.
I trust the process. I trust the hand of a God who is making all things new. I surrender and I’ll let him make something new of me.
Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed. 1 Corinthians 15:51