I Hate Fridays...

I hate Fridays….

Fridays have gravity. No matter what I have planned, no matter what’s going on in my head, and even if it is one of those beautiful, Michigan summer days like today Fridays come with a weighted irony.

It was Friday after the kid's Field day that I got the call that my dad hadwas Friday morning, April 19th, that Kat took her last breath passed, and it on this side of eternity. I never imagined a day of the week would carry so much of what I am experiencing because the reality is I love Fridays. They have been our sabbath day for 8+ years. A day full of joy, laughter, and usually friends and kids running around the house until it was way past bedtime.

In fact, before Henry was born, I was so stoked for Fridays because We finally had all the kids in school, and Fridays would become FREEDOM FRIDAYS!!! A full-day date for just the two of us. I was counting down the days to Freedom Fridays. But, silly me, I went and got my wife pregnant! When Kathryn found out she was pregnant, she literally waited 2 weeks to tell me because she thought I would be so disappointed… Did I tell you how stoked I was for Freedom Fridays?!? It was a really great moment because she pulled me aside after a meeting at the office and said hey, I have to tell you something… “We are going to have another baby…” If I remember correctly, I told her congratulations…. (Who says that to their wife?!?)

So we never had our Freedom Fridays, but I’m finding freedom looks a little different than I planned.

I think this is what I’m learning. Every day has gravity, but this thing called love breaks the laws of physics. It’s something supernatural.

I hate Fridays, but I love Fridays because… It’s days like these that I get to watch Henry grow and explore. His smile lights up the room. I love Fridays because on days like these, I get to cheer Wyatt the lion-heart at baseball. It’s a new kind of freedom Friday where I try to keep up with Noah as he flies on his bike to school. It’s days like these that I’m reminded how few of them I have left with Madelyn under this roof, so I’ll hold each one close.

It’s days like these when the gravity of loss can take my breath away, and tears can sit in the corner of my eyes. But the love Kat and I shared is like a steady wind that carries me.

So yeah, I hate Fridays because I’m broken, but I love Fridays because I’m whole.

I hate Fridays because I’m grieving, but I love Fridays because I’m full of joy.

I hate Fridays because I wanted more time, but I love Fridays because I cherish all the time I got.

I hate Fridays because I miss my best friend, but I love Fridays because I know I’ll see her again.

I hate Fridays because every part of this house whispers her name, but I love Fridays because this house is full of shouting and laughter from her legacy.

May you find joy in the sorrow.

May you find light in the dark

May you find peace in the chaos

May you find love in the brokenness.

I love y’all,

Luke